Telling A Woman To Calm Down

I once told my bitch wife to calm down. Big mistake.

Especially if the bitch has had a few drinks…WOAH!!!!  But I couldn’t help it when she would blow the littlest things out of proportion and my best come back would be “Just calm the F###K down!!”

She needed money for my kids birthday party and was spazing about how she needed

Telling A woman to calm down

It sure is….

decorations, balloon and other stuff.  She should have been worried about how she was going to make ends meet and not sweat the little things.  I gave her money for my kids party, no big deal. But to blow this shit out of the water???!!!

So if you want to piss her off, just tell her to calm down. LOL  I should have just shut the hell up….. that way I wouldn’t have had to hear her bitch and complain.


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19 thoughts on “Telling A Woman To Calm Down

  1. Al

    Tell her to calm down and do it often. Take the road of “just pissing her the fuck off” and then ask her how it feels. Ever had some prick cop do that to you? THEY do it to antagonize you so you go off and they can abuse their authority. These bitch fucking wives need to be put in their place.

  2. nik

    i feel your pain brother! my bitch wife wakes up every morning and starts shit with me for no reason. like 15 mins ago she started screaming at me becaue i told her toask her doctor a simple question! god for bid i wake up and have a good morning for once!

  3. Bman

    I know! These girls go off and just say shit, and we’re supposed to be ok with it… Marriages should have a 5 year renewable term, like a lease. At the end of the term just trade that puppy in.

  4. Al

    Oh man do I like that idea! Term limits! My bitch just cost me $720 in dental work yesterday and I don’t have it. Heaven forbid she cut down or cut out smoking $300 every month to pay for it. She complained that talking yesterday was making the stitches bleed so I had fun telling her to shut up all day. I think I’ll continue to do it after she heals as well.

  5. Bman

    I’m wondering.
    How much toilet paper does your spouse use??
    When she is not around, I use about 1 roll every 5 days.
    When she is here, we burn through a roll a day – or more.
    I realize that she has extra parts that we all want clean (she still gets mucho uti’s), but, damn,….
    Why am I bringing this up?
    The toilets been clogged 3 times this week when I go to use it. You can’t tell, but the trap is stopped up, so it needs to be plunged when………. you get the idea.
    Not Cool.
    Maybe she is padding her bra or something.

  6. Bman

    Hey Al!
    That’s like a thousand $$$$!
    A few of those and I could get those new Brembos for my suv AND the rims and tires…
    Wow shes costing you mucho dinero.
    If you can’t cut her off, how about getting her a “make it yourself” cigarette kit.
    Buy her some weird foreign tobacco, some papers, and a fancy container. Tell her its a boutique, Ralph Lauren accessory, it’s all the rage in Uzbekistan,…. make sure the tobacco is toxic or high in tar, and gift it to her.
    There must be a way to cut cost on her habit….

  7. Al

    Bman – You must be some kind of mind reader. I was just having that talk with my wife about two weeks ago. For crying out loud how much do you have to go through in a day? I was buying a 12 pack every week and it was driving me nuts. I just switched to the double or triple roll stuff and it had better start to last around here. We have a two bath apartment and there’s no way we should use that much. I use the can at work so there’s no cost to me there.

    Oh, and can you get your lazy ass to put the new roll on the holder instead of leaving it on the counter? Maybe they’re getting wet and she’s throwing them out. I don’t know but this is pain in the ass. No pun intended.

  8. seriously FML

    My wife is stay our…… puppy. I work. Then i hustle 2 businesses i started years ago. When i get home i step in puppy piss when i walk in. Then write a check to the maid for cleaning this week. Not unconmon to find bitch wife asleep still or jisr getting home from shopping with her friends to the tune of 4-8k. A month. Wtf

    Time to get rid of this unappreciative bitch

  9. Bman

    Wow. good things you’ve no kids.
    Let her have the puppy in exchange for the alimony.
    Get a lawyer and go now, dude.
    She is not going to get any better. Wow, 4-8k per month? She spends more than I make. That’s a lot of toilet paper.
    Good luck.

  10. AvoidtheEye

    That toilet paper thing always gets me. Bitches just use too much! They really need bidets or some shit. For that guy who’s wife always has uti’s–ask if she’s wiping back to front. Marriage fucking sucks.

  11. mj

    My wife won’t change the toilet paper even though she knows it upsets my you daughter if there is no paper. It seems like she is the on that always used the last of it, even though there is 1/2 a roll left when she goes into the bathroom. My daughter will be crying in the bathroom because there is no toilet paper and if I don’t get in there before my wife she will get on my daughter for being a baby and then things get worse.
    The reason I got on here today, is because we had a busy weekend with company and then after they left we were going to let the kids watch a movie in our bedroom and so I sit down to get ready to watch the football, and my wife says she doesn’t know how to run the new Blu-ray player even though she just used it to watch netfix less than a week ago. When I said something about it, so said she didn’t know how to open the player to get the movie in. I get pissed that she is so lazy that she can’t get her fat ass off the bed to do anything. All I here is how tired she is because of all the work she has to do and that she doesn’t get enough sleep, even though she takes a 2-3 hour nap every Sat and Sun, and does very little work around the house, unless we have company over, so she can brag about how good of a wife and mother see is.

    I love the idea of having to renew the marriage, your a genius.

  12. james

    My wife hangs out on facebook all fucking day. Doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean doesn’t even fuck me. Complete shitty mom. Makes me feel like shit all the time. I work from home now and she complains about me working!!!! Seriously wtf!!!!! I’m leaving this and I suggest you all do too.

  13. Al

    My cunt complains about me working as well. WTF ! ! ! How do you think the bills get paid stupid? Facecrap isn’t a job and the world doesn’t revolve around it. Time for bitches to understand that.

  14. Dave

    It’s real tempting at times. But it’s dealing with the push back- which goes on for days afterwards and involves other innocent parties (kids, friends etc)- that causes me to keep that to myself…

  15. Dantheman

    My stupid bitch got her license taken for two months and want an apartment in JC so she can probably hang out at a bar and drink more WTF. We’re behind on mortgage pay that first before rent but stupid bitch doesn’t GAF. My kids are sick of her drunk in ass.

  16. Bman

    Hey Danthman, sorry your woooman is off her rocker. I’m sure if you could afford it, you’d love to get her an apt. farrr away, right? Hell, you could even stock it with enough booze to keep her busy for a while.

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